Oh hello, remember me?
I've been MIA... hopelessly obsessed with decorating my living room aaand
I've been exhausted after dealing with Oklahoma's dumbest people all weekend.
Examples:
1. I had a consult with the world's most ridiculous chiropractor.
His office is in a strip mall. His waiting room hasn't been touched since the seventies.
(complete with blue shag carpet)
He was wearing polyester pants and a silk shirt with a matching toupee on top.
He spent the entire TWO HOURS telling me his political views on blood thirsty
Canadians instead of telling me how he'd fix my problems.
When I asked him what treatment involved, he laughed at me and said, "I don't know yet!"
He charged me $78.00 for the worst consult ever.
Lesson I learned: Do not trust the internet.
2. Jake was assigned the "VADD" phone (Vance Against Drunk Driving).
Making him a pathetic Designated Driver this weekend.
We thought that no one would call it. Since it's more of a last resort for idiots
stuck in an alcoholic wasteland. We didn't realize that Vance is full of idiots.
We received three phone calls in the middle of the night.
Not only are you grown men, but you're OFFICERS.
If you're going to get wasted, walk home or call a taxi.
Your stupidity is not my responsibility.
Lesson I learned:
Academy Grads are Frat Boys.
3. Enid's Theatre on a weekend? A cestpool for white trash teenagers.
We went to a movie last night only to be surrounded by people
texting and talking (loudly) on their phones.
Then a group of hormones walked in yelling "Marco" and crackling their loud candy.
Why are people so oblivious to the world around them?
We left and got our money back.
Lesson I learned:
Do not go to the theatre on the weekend.
When I wasn't busy being frustrated, I painted our wall Hazy Slate grey.
I also watched our crazy pup play with a massive Labradoodle and pee all over our house.
Oh and there was an earthquake. It was crazy cool.
Hope you had a great weekend!
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