(Every birth story is different and as scary as mine was, I want to remember it forever! I also hope it helps anyone else who might experience a complicated pregnancy. Listen to your gut!)
A week ago our world was turned upside down. I had been experiencing rib pain on and off for two weeks and it had become a consistent crushing feeling that kept me up crying all night and day. We went into the hospital Thursday searching for answers and after a normal urine sample, they told me it was heart burn and sent me home with a GI cocktail that I threw up immediately. Two painful days later we were back and I wasn't leaving without a hefty dose of Prednisone. This time I told them more about my joint problems and after they pulled some of my old labs and saw my elevated blood pressure, they started taking things a lot more seriously.
Twenty minutes later, things got real. Dr Torres, my OB, came in with the ultrasound and told me that my blood platelets were ridiculously low and my liver looked like I had been binge drinking for weeks. Okay... I said, what does that mean? "It means you have Preeclampsia and you're not leaving this hospital pregnant." My hands went immediately to my face and the tears started to flow. I hadn't packed my bags, I hadn't prepared any freezer meals or found a sitter for Maizey. I wasn't ready for this. Soon after I was wheeled down the hall into a delivery room. Jake started calling family to tell them the situation. My mom packed her bag and rushed to the airport. Dr Torres told me she would start inducing that night and I would have baby boy sometime the next day. The anesthesiologists came in and informed me that because of my low platelets, I could not have an epidural. I laughed, that's not possible. I needed an epidural. How can you be serious! I started to sink lower and lower into a state of shock. Jake, in the meantime, found a sitter for Maizey and left to go get everything I needed from home. They got my IV started and came in to do another ultrasound. Graham was weighing at around six pounds and was doing just fine, but my platelets had fallen again which meant that a vaginal delivery would not be possible because I could have bled out. They needed to perform a C Section as soon as possible to lower my risk of placenta eruption and seizing. Jake would not be able to attend the surgery and I would be under general anesthesia. As terrified as I was, at least I would have the baby soon and would feel no more pain. Jake came in and was updated. They told us that since our baby was technically preterm, if anything at all was wrong they would have to transfer him to a different hospital with a NICU where I wouldn't see him for days. Please be healthy baby boy. That's all I could think about. Ten minutes later, my husband was walking me to the OR room and kissing me and my pregnant belly goodbye.
It was really bright in the OR room. Bright and full of people dressed in green with masks on. The drug twins (my anesthesiologists) welcomed me and asked me to climb on to my table. Lay your arms out, they told me, so I did. Butterfly your legs. So I did. I was so exposed and alone yet my mind had become numb to any fear or hesitation, this baby was coming out of me now and there was nothing I can do about it. The nurse held my hand as they put on my catheter and made me orange, then the mask was on and the next thing I knew, I was waking up to my husband bathing my baby boy.
Can he stay? I asked. Graham looks really good they told me. They wrapped him up and brought him to me, my mind was so foggy I couldn't really see his face but I knew he was there so I kissed him. They had put me on Magnesium, a drug that would help prevent me from seizing and make my world sleepy and out of focus. Phone calls were made to family and friends. My mom and Ally arrived soon after and held my baby, something I could not do. Then the lights were out and I slept.
The next day was even foggier. The magnesium was torture, making it impossible to open my eyes or sleep without hallucinating. It also kept me from eating or leaving my bed. Finally at 8:30 pm they took me off it and I could slowly eat some soup and jello. I stood up briefly so they could change my sheets. The massive blood stain startled me and I started to black out so they put me back in bed. Then it was time to sleep again. This time around 4 am Jake put the baby near my bed. I reached over and held his tiny hand as he whimpered. I still hadn't breastfed him. The bond was not there but soon would be.
They moved me into the Mother Baby ward down the hall, the room was smaller but much cozier. They brought me breakfast and the lactation consultant came in and showed me how to feed Graham. She and I were surprised when he latched almost right away. I smiled with disbelief that I was actually feeding my child. We enjoyed some oatmeal and skin on skin. Soon my mom and Ally were back. Ally helped me breastfeed and then she was on her way back to her family. They removed my catheter and my mom helped me bathe. I was finally feeling like myself again and it was amazing. Soon I was peeing on my own and walking like a granny. Jake and I enjoyed a romantic hospital dinner together and watched Father of the Bride Part Two. Things were so much better. And I was a mother.
The next day we packed up and left in the late afternoon. We went home to Maizey who was overwhelmed with excitement. She couldn't stop sniffing the baby, she wanted to know him so badly. I took a nap and Jake ordered my favorite Margherita pizza. We watched New Girl and had our first sleepless night at home. We're parents now and so happy to be. I still stare at him and smile with disbelief. I made him from scratch. And may I say... he's pretty perfect.
1. Telling my dad he would be a grandpa in twenty minutes. 2. Dr Torres and Kristin prepping me for surgery. 3. Daddy cutting the cord. 4. Our healthy baby boy! Look at that mouth.
5. Meeting my baby boy. 6. Grandma time. 7. His perfect little face. 8. My last minutes with bestie.
9. Taking my first stroll around Mother Baby. 10. Wide awake after being fed. 11. Quality momma time. 12. Father of the Bride Part Two with my favorite boys.
13-16. Facetime with family!
17. Waiting to go home from the hospital. 18. So happy to be leaving! 19-20. Meeting Maizey.
Jake's Version:
This last week was a tough one. Court just hadn't been feeling like herself lately and I could tell that this pregnancy was finally taking its toll on her body. Thursday I had to call into work and let my squadron know I wouldn't be able to fly that night. Court had been feeling so crummy that day so we finally decided it was time to go into the hospital to make sure things were okay. Unfortunately, the doctor and nurses on duty didn't find anything of concern and figured it was just a little heartburn causing her the discomfort. Needless to say, I wasn't too impressed with the doctor....especially when he said, while laughing, "pregnancies aren't that comfortable, discomfort is just part of it".
Two days passed and Court's pain wasn't getting any better. I've never seen someone try so many things to subdue the pains of heartburn, but to no avail. Then the joint pain started and we found ourselves back at the hospital Sunday afternoon looking for more answers. This visit was totally different. The nurse we first met with showed genuine concern and made us feel like we weren't crazy. Then the doctor on duty came in and conveniently, had had a similar experience with joint pain and therefore knew what questions to ask. All the answers Courtney gave coupled with her high blood pressure led the preeclampsia. Things were getting serious fast and didn't slow down until about five minutes ago. Our baby was going to come earlier than expected...four weeks earlier.
Cut to me leaving the hospital in a frenzy, calling, who later seemed like everyone in my phone book, to let them know what was happening as well as driving home to gather all our supplies....and my thoughts. It all was happening so fast and continued to gain momentum as time went on. As I was leaving the house with all our gear, Courtney called me and told me to get back to the hospital ASAP. The plan to induce and then deliver on Monday was no longer the plan. Courtney's blood platelets had drop to a dangerously low level and her blood pressure remained high. The fear was no longer only that Courtney's preeclampsia could progress to eclampsia, but that a normal labor and deliver could potentially cause her to bleed out. And that was not a risk anyone was willing to take. The new game plan was to do a quick c-section delivery to deliver our baby boy before anything could get worse.
By the time I returned to the hospital, the doctors and nurses were all done up in their surgical gear and were simply waiting for Courtney and I to take a few minutes together before she went into the OR. They explained to us the procedure again and then had Courtney sign the consent forms. We kissed and then both walked to the OR where Court was put under a few minutes later. I walked back to the delivery room to make a couple of phone calls as well as gather my thoughts. I remember being scared and excited all at once. On the one hand, we were about to meet our baby boy we had waited so long to meet; but on the other, my wife was sick and I was worried they wouldn't be able to make her better. After taking a deep breath and collecting myself I came back out to be with the nurses right outside the OR.
At this point, I could see Courtney asleep on the table looking peaceful and comfortable and the doctors were surrounding her, hard at work. The nurses who were out in the hall with me were giving me the play by play as things happened. About twenty minutes after they started the procedure, one of the nurses leaned over to me and said, "they almost have him out!" and as I tried to remove the random dust/debris that had somehow fallen into my eye, she grabbed my hand as they pulled our little boy out. A rush of emotion fell over me as I heard my baby boy immediately cry. They placed him gently on the examination table and began to look him over. In the meantime, the nurses got me some scrubs and escorted me in the meet Graham. After cutting his cord and speaking with the pediatrician, I walked back to the delivery room with them and Graham. For the next forty five minutes, I helped one of the surgical technicians examine the little guy while the doctors took care of Courtney. That was easily the longest 45 minutes of my life. For a while there, I felt as if I traded my wife in for a new baby. But the time eventually past and they carefully wheeled Courtney and her hospital bed back into the room. The first thing she said when she came to was, "Can he stay?".
