37 weeks

37 weeks. 

It's been 3 months since I've written, sadly. Can't believe how fast Spring/Summer have flown by. 

My days are filled with sleepy mornings watching Octonauts with Graham, afternoon naps, and trying my best to get anything done to prepare for baby. Jake's been home for over a month which is huge for our family. We've been to Utah, Santa Cruz, and San Francisco, making the most of our time left. 

As for the pregnancy, It's been much better than my preeclampsia past. Sleeping isn't easy, my joints ache all over from the added weight. My anxiety combined with hormones have made me a roller coaster of emotions. Lucky for me I have great doctors who have helped so much, not to mention a patient husband who massages my varicose veined legs every night. 

I'm further than I ever was with Graham, and the dream of a normal birth is becoming more and more of a reality. You guys, the thought of experiencing real labor is terrifying me! But my friend from high school is my midwife at a fantastic birthing center, so I can do it. Right? 

I can't believe any day now I'll have two babies. I'm feeling more ready but still feel like I have so much to do, and guilty that my time with Graham alone will be over. I know that in the end, the Lord has a plan for my little family. That baby will come when it's right and we will love him so much. A year from now he'll have a name, the fear will be gone, and I'll look back with so much gratitude for these brothers and playmates. 

For now I just need to be patient and enjoy every second I have left of this pregnancy which includes normal milk less boobs, and sleep, lots of sleep. It's truly such a miraculous thing to grow a human.